


Hungry Like the Wolf

by Dahlia_Moon



Category: Big Wolf on Campus
Genre: First Time, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-31
Updated: 2013-03-31
Packaged: 2017-12-06 22:43:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/741003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dahlia_Moon/pseuds/Dahlia_Moon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, he hears the voice in his head and it shocks him to the core how <em>primal</em> it sounds. It looks at Merton and just keeps repeating <em>mine, mine, mine</em> over and over again fiercely in Tommy’s brain. </p>
<p>Or the one in which there's a psychic, Lori can't believe she's friends with these doofuses, and Tommy and Merton find their way to each other (finally).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hungry Like the Wolf

Sometimes, he hears the voice in his head and it shocks him to the core how _primal_ it sounds. It looks at Merton and just keeps repeating _mine, mine, mine_ over and over again fiercely in Tommy’s brain.

Sometimes, it happens that Merton isn’t anywhere in the vicinity and Tommy’s thoughts will drift toward his best friend and the wolf in him will claw furiously to get out and be possessive.

And Tommy will have to calm himself down and try not to transform. He will have to tell the wolf that, no, he can’t go over to Merton’s and claim him like he fantasizes in the privacy of his mind. It’s just not done. For a multitude of reasons.

And Tommy feels like he’s going crazy, arguing with himself, arguing for something that he wants, something that the very core of his being, the one fused with the wolf, for better or worse, wants so deeply it hurts to get up in the morning and be that close to Merton and to always daydream about it being _more_ , more physical, to reach that place where two souls are infused by intimacy.

He hasn’t experienced that yet. Not with Stacy or Lori. Some part of him knows it’s because he’s been waiting for Merton.

* * *

It’s only something Merton would be interested in, but he manages to rope Lori and Tommy into going with him to see the psychic Vivienne. Tommy because – well – there isn’t anywhere he won't go with Merton honestly, and Lori because she is curious, as is often the case.

Lori, even after cluing onto the fact that Tommy is a werewolf, sits in one of the chairs around Vivienne’s clothed, round table, with a semi-raised eyebrow and a cynical look on her face. Lori has never met a psychic she has trusted before but that doesn’t mean she isn’t on the lookout for one who isn’t a big faker.

Madame Vivienne takes Merton’s right hand, her long, manicured fingers painting invisible shapes around the expanse of Merton’s palm. “You will find a great love,” she says in a deep voice. Tommy is surprised by her pronouncement.

Merton perks up, eyes going shiny like when he’s trying to explain something supernatural that even he doesn’t wholly understand to Tommy. “Really, I will? What kind of great love?”

Madame Vivienne glares at Merton, and Tommy gets the feeling they shouldn’t try to ask any clarifying questions. She drops Merton’s hand quickly then and picks up Tommy’s.

She stares intensely, like she did with Merton and says, “You, dear boy, are hiding something huge from the world and you won’t find true happiness if you keep this secret bottled up.”

The three friends look at each other meaningfully. Or, at least Tommy thinks it’s meaningful. He assumes Lori and Merton probably think Madame Vivienne is talking about the whole werewolf thing, but they don’t know she’s also talking about the gay, I-have-the-hots-for-my-straight-geeky-utterly-adorable-best-friend thing. At any rate, Tommy sincerely hopes they don’t know. He doesn’t know why, but actually admitting he’s in love with Merton is harder than admitting he’s a werewolf. But they’re fine with him being a werewolf so why shouldn’t they be fine with him being gay? Except the two situations are totally different from one another, and just because they’re okay with him transforming into a monster doesn’t mean they will be okay with his homosexuality. And that actually depresses him. Tommy tunes back into the present, knowing that if he thinks any more about his hopeless situation, he’ll become a downer and ruin their Friday night outing.

The psychic has Lori’s right hand in hers, and is saying, “You have found what you were searching for, but there’s something else you seek.” Lori nods like this is exactly what she figured too.

Madame Vivienne shoos them out, claiming to have more customers waiting although Lori, Tommy, and Merton don’t see any one else out in the front hall of the house on their way out.

“She is definitely a quack.” Lori says, hands jammed in pockets, while they walk to The Factory.

“I don’t know, I think she’s the real deal,” Merton says happily.

“Well, of course you’d feel that way; you liked what she had to say.”

Merton shrugs at Lori’s bitterness, but he’s smiling and Tommy can’t figure out what that means.

* * *

Tommy forgets about Madame Vivienne and her palm reading by the following Monday. He is far too busy with school, football, crushing on his best friend, and trying to hide aforementioned crush, it all leaves his brain for the moment.

It’s not until he gets to school and seeks out Merton that it suddenly comes back to him what the psychic said to Merton. Because Merton, at this moment, is behaving…well oddly. Tommy actually doesn't even recognize Merton at first because he looks…Tommy doesn't want to say normal because Merton always looks normal to him but more normal, he guesses? Merton looks like Tommy, essentially. He's wearing Tommy’s red baseball hat (and wow – OK that is all kinds of hot) and his clothes look more like they came from the Gap, which Tommy knows can’t be possible because Merton hates shopping at the Gap.

He sidles up closer to Merton, feeling the pull of the transformation trying to break through. A. Girl. Talking. To. His. Merton. She’s actually being flirty with Merton and leaning seductively against the locker; it’s all Tommy can do to not growl at her…Tommy highly suspects he stepped into an alternate universe.

“Hey buddy…”

The girl smiles at Merton before leaving them alone. Merton turns to him, all smiles and bright eyes and Tommy feels like he’s been punched in the stomach, all the oxygen sucked out of his body at the knowledge that a _girl_ has put that blinding smile on Merton’s face - something that Tommy will never achieve because he’s only Merton’s friend, not someone Merton will ever think of in romantic terms.

“What’s going on, buddy?” Tommy tries to sound nice, he does, but his voice is tight with a tension coiling in his stomach and winding itself through him to snap and break into something ugly and dark and uncontrollable at the merest tug. His smile is so fake he’s surprised there aren't neon signs popping out of nowhere flashing the falseness.

“Well, you know how Madame Vivienne said I’ll find a great love? Well, I figured why not start looking for her now?”

Tommy’s stomach and heart, and practically every organ, plummets somewhere toward his feet. “You know, buddy, she probably meant like later on in life. Like years from now, when you’re ancient and thirty and you want to settle down…” Dear Pete, he doesn't know how he can get all that out without Merton seeing his broken heart hanging in his chest cavity by a thread that’s become so thin now it’s practically invisible.

Merton's smile dims, but before they can talk anymore, the bell rings shrilly above their heads and they have to go their separate ways.

* * *

Sarah, as Tommy learns, is the name of the girl who was chatting Merton up yesterday. Yesterday was a dark, dark day for Tommy, and to Tommy’s growing frustration and disappointment, Sarah doesn’t seem to be letting go of Merton any time soon. They have become Siamese twins, and Tommy’s jealousy grows exponentially in a short time. Sarah’s an interloper, and she keeps joining them for lunch and Merton’s never _alone_ now so forget about discussing anything supernatural. The only saving grace seems to be that the supernatural creatures have decided to take a vacation so there's no need for them to regroup and take on any baddies. Yet this somehow makes things even worse in Tommy's mind.  

On one such day at lunch, he and Lori sit side by side watching Merton and Sarah. They’re in their own world, as is made clear the moment Lori and Tommy come over to Merton’s table. Tommy is too sick to eat anything and Lori keeps staring at them because she’s intrigued that someone actually likes Merton, like that is something that can only happen once every billion years. Tommy wants to blurt out that he likes Merton too, would do anything for him but no one is asking Tommy how he feels and even if someone were to ask, he wouldn’t be able to say anything because his whole life is complicated so of course his love life would be too.

With Sarah unexpectedly intruding into their group, Tommy knows he’s going to lose Merton; it’s an undeniable truth like the sun will always rise each morning, Dean will always be found in his chair in front of the television, and he will always transform into a werewolf if he feels angry, excited, concerned or anything really. Another undeniable truth he knows is that he loves Merton and he can’t give him up to this Sarah girl without at least trying to fight for him.

The actual part of admitting his feelings to Merton is what trips him up, what makes him freeze like no football game or supernatural weirdo that he stumbles upon has.

It’s not as though Tommy doesn’t like Sarah – he really, really doesn't like her. In other circumstances, they probably could have been friends. But the circumstances are different and so they can’t be friends.

Tommy is convinced that Sarah isn’t good for Merton. Now he just has to figure out how to show Merton that she’s not good for him (and that Tommy is, but really, he’s not banking on confessing that far…if he can help it at all).

And if – as truly a horrifying fact as it is – Sarah actually does end up liking Merton for himself and not just because he’s best friends with Tommy or trying to look like the perfect All-American boy then…

He’ll let go of this silly crush and move on. He will.

* * *

Lori is the first to mention it, while Tommy’s ordering sodas for them all--not that he wants to get them all drinks, but he'd do anything to get away from Merton and Sarah’s cutesy, lovey-dovey talk, which would annoy anybody and not just Tommy who is, as has been already established, head over fucking heels in love with Merton.

“Doesn’t Sarah give you weird vibes?” Lori asks, glancing back every few seconds at their table with a suspicious look on her face.

Sarah not only gives him weird vibes, but murderous ones too. And while he’s pretty sure the wolf could get away with “accidentally” murdering someone, he knows he wouldn’t fool Merton. And anyways, does he really want to become the clichéd monster he’s supposed to be but that he’s worked hard NOT to become just because a girl is showing interest in Merton? (Fucking hell yes. Wait…no scratch that. Stupid wolf.)

“What kind of weird vibes does she give you?” Tommy finally asks, once he gets outside his head.

“I don’t know. It just feels like she’s not being genuine with Merton. I mean, she usually hangs out with those popular kids and the minute Merton changes his looks and whole personality – which, by the way, is a lot freakier to experience than anything supernatural we’ve come up against – she swoops in to be with him. Doesn’t that strike you as being a little suspicious?”

Thank god Lori says it. Before, Tommy thought it was all in his head because of the wolf and his feelings for Merton – he has been on the lookout for anything wrong with Sarah that he can’t trust himself to be objective. Yet he’s pretty sure Lori doesn’t have any feelings for Merton so she can be trusted.

“Well, now that you mention it, it does seem suspicious.”

“Thank you!” Lori throws her hands in the air and huffs back to their table. That seems to be all she’s going to say about that.

* * *

Tommy will swear later that he didn’t see it coming. He has been preoccupied trying not to let his crush on Merton show that he didn’t see that Sarah was trying to let her crush on Tommy show – which, of course, was typical; typical because the one person Tommy wants to crush on him doesn’t like him in that way, and the one person who Tommy doesn’t want to crush on him completely does.

Through some sort of weird sequence of events – mostly Lori dragging Merton out onto the dance floor only during the slow songs so Merton doesn’t embarrass himself too much with what he considers his “cool” moves during the songs that require dancing on one’s own – Tommy ends up sitting alone with Sarah.

He has a drink in his hand, keeps a somewhat disinterested-but-not-really eye on Merton and Lori, but more on Merton than Lori, when he feels a hand creep up his thigh. Looking around wildly, he doesn’t see anyone else at their table but Sarah’s grinning weirdly and pointedly looking at him.

“Woah, that’s not your hand there on my leg, is it?”

“Hmmm, could be,” Sarah says and squeezes his thigh which makes Tommy fly out of his seat, laughing nervously, causing his chair to tip backwards and his soda to spill over his hand.

He's still laughing really nervously, glancing over to the dance floor to see if Merton or Lori have noticed them, but they don't seem to be looking in their direction.

"I, um, I have to go to the restroom." Tommy waves his now sticky hand of Coca-Cola, and bolts to the bathroom, hoping to distance himself from Sarah. 

* * *

Merton and Sarah leave shortly after wards and Tommy grabs Lori's arm. "She hit on me!" he offers by way of explanation when Lori looks at him weirdly.

"What?!"

"Sarah tried to hit on me when you were dancing with Merton. I think she likes me!" His voice squeaks on the 'likes' part.

"Oh my god! I knew she couldn't like Merton!"

"Hey, let's not get too carried away. I can see how possible it is to like-like Merton...you know...in that way."

"Ugh, boys."

* * *

Tommy doesn't know what to do about Sarah. After her attempt to hit on him at the club failed, she tries even harder, to the point that he dreads being left alone with Sarah even at school. 

He can try to tell Merton that his so-called girlfriend spends her time hitting on his best friend when Merton's back is turned, but Tommy is afraid. He isn't sure what he's afraid of more, that Merton won't believe him or that he will, and be heartbroken.

Either way, Tommy doesn't want to be the guy who breaks the bad news to Merton. He tries to rope Lori into talking about it with Merton, but the prospect of talking about _feelings--_ even feelings that aren't her own--terrifies her as much as it terrifies Tommy so he's back at square one.   

He thinks nothing is worse than having definitive proof someone is wrong for your best friend whom you have not so platonic love for, but, as Tommy will learn, actually? The worse thing is your best friend thinking you're jealous for all the wrong reasons.

Tommy goes over to Merton's, expecting to hang out with his best friend that are blessedly Sarah-free. But that is before Merton starts jabbing his finger into his chest the minute he walks in the door. 

"I'm fed up, Tommy," poke and poke and poke, and really Merton couldn't hurt a fly, but all this poking is going to leave a bruise. "I know you think you have some claim to every girl who looks your way, but couldn't you, for the sake of this friendship, just once let me have a go? A fair fight to win the affections of the beautiful girl?"  
  
"Merton--"

"Let me finish. I know you probably think you deserve to be with Sarah more because you two seem to be cut from the same cloth. But _she_ did look my way first, and I know you can, werewolf powers notwithstanding, literally kill me without breaking a sweat. But I deserve as much of a chance as you do to fight for her, even if I'm not super-athletic or super-popular." 

“Oh, shut up,” Tommy says, not meaning it at all, but that doesn’t stop him from cringing at the hurt look that passes briefly through Merton’s face before he composes himself.

“This was never about Sarah,” Tommy says.

“Yes it was! You stole her from me!”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes you did!”

“No.”

Tommy is just so fed up with it all, with pretending that he doesn’t care about Merton in that way, with trying to not lose Merton to some girl who will never appreciate how wonderful Merton is when he’s being _himself_ , the geeky Goth who has such a kind heart even when others are always picking on him and who gets excited at the mere mention of something supernatural, who doesn’t look brave at first glance but is the bravest person Tommy has ever met - he’s even braver than Tommy sometimes, and Tommy’s the werewolf here – who can talk endlessly about movies and has movie trivia rattling around in that smart brain of his. If Merton wants to change his look, Tommy will still find him attractive, no doubt about it but Sarah was only with him – only noticed and approached him - because he changed to fit her idea of normal and what a guy should be and really, fuck that because Merton is _perfect_ the way he is.

Which is why Tommy shoves Merton onto his bed, not gentle at all, fuck decorum and not shoving your best friend down to have your wicked way with him and baring his teeth, growls, “Fucking idiot, I was trying to steal _you_ away from her, idiot,” and he can’t keep talking anymore, not when he’s this close to Merton and his heart’s pounding in his chest and he doesn’t want to think how the wolf feels because it’s all too much, he’ll combust, he has to kiss Merton harshly then, tries to say everything he has felt for such a long time with this kiss. He slips his tongue in and Merton’s being surprisingly responsive, moving against Tommy, not to get away but to get closer, gripping his shoulders tightly and arching his body underneath Tommy’s. Tommy is lost in the kiss, in the heat. Fantasies upon fantasies of this happening don’t compare to the reality he's experiencing at the moment. It’s ten thousand times better because then he didn’t know how Merton tasted, but he does now.

He tries to pull Merton’s clothes off him but he can’t do that and keep kissing Merton at the same time. They wrestle on the bed, Merton surprisingly flipping Tommy over so he’s on top and then Tommy flipping him over and tugging at his shirt to get it off, damn it get it off he wanted naked skin. They keep flipping and twisting, no thought given at all to the fact that Merton’s bed is small and there is a hard floor beneath it.

Tommy keeps yanking at Merton’s shirt and Merton keeps yanking at him…and Tommy falls off the bed. “Ow,” he breaks the kiss reluctantly, closing his eyes and rubbing his head in pain.

“Tommy, are you OK?” Merton is straddling him and touching his head where he fell on it.

“I’ll be fine.”

The moment the passionate kiss created is broken now, they’re both panting and heart rates are slowing down to a normal rate. Tommy’s afraid to open his eyes – not because he’s necessarily afraid of what he’ll find there but because he’s a bit ashamed at how he acted. It was all he could do to focus on the kissing and not wolf out in the midst of the kissing. He has imagined this moment many times and it was always gentle, slow, so as to not spook Merton – to not spook Tommy truthfully and get him all excited he transformed into the wolf and scared Merton. But that has clearly gone out the window judging by the ferocity of their kissing.

“I’m sorry,” he starts, rubbing at his still closed eyes.

“What? Why?” Merton sounds panicked for a second.

He feels Merton touch his cheek; now he’s the one being gentle, Tommy thinks and smiles.

“I’m sorry, that’s not how I imagined this going, at all.”

“You’ve imagined this before?”

Merton sounds smug, absolutely, horrendously smug so Tommy opens his eyes and crushes Merton to him, starting with the fierce kissing all over again. He gropes Merton’s butt and hears him moan above him. God, he’s so fucking hot like this. Tommy starts undressing Merton again, but, having some oxygen return to his brain, he starts being methodical this time around and goes for the belt buckle first and flips them over and breaks the kiss while he slides Merton’s pants off him and then his boxers. He’s momentarily distracted by the sight of Merton, naked from the waist down, cock hard and enticing, he doesn’t register Merton taking off his shirt and, dear God, Tommy’s having trouble breathing again.

“You know that was kinda hot, when you flipped me over,” Merton says, hands turning Tommy’s face toward him, and Tommy sees his eyes are black with desire and that just makes him kiss Merton harder while his hand strays to Merton’s cock.

"Wait--wait," he tries to pant out before he does something he'll regret. "Are you sure about this?"

Merton rolls his eyes like Tommy's an idiot--and he probably is, if he could have had this all this time, if he could've just stepped out of his head. 

"I don't like Sarah all that much, to be honest. It was much more about the principal of the thing. I like you  _more._ "

Well. He can get on board with that. He feels like the biggest jerk for not feeling even remotely bad about Sarah; he thinks he should feel bad but it's hard to think straight when he has Merton naked under him.

This time, when he leans into Merton to kiss him, it's slow and perfect. 

* * *

“I think you should be naked this time,” Merton says definitively, having come all over Tommy’s hand and then proceeding to stretch out on the floor like a cat basking in the sun. It’s dark outside now, and Merton’s room is illuminated by the few flickering candles placed strategically around the room.

Tommy buries his nose in Merton’s neck, biting down while stifling the urge to laugh. He’s definitely all for that.

And then Merton flips Tommy onto his backside and hovers above him while starting to undress him and Tommy smirks. “I think it’s hot when you flip me over,” Tommy says, face smug and bright with laughter.

Merton sighs above him, but doesn’t stop the task of sliding his pants and boxers down and his shirt over his head. “You are going to be unbearable, aren’t you?”

“You wouldn’t have me any other way.”

“No, I wouldn't. I love you the way you are.” Huh – Merton looks like he didn't mean to say that, not right at this moment. Merton’s not gonna deny it though, it’s true - has been for some time now.

Tommy’s eyes flash gold and he cups the back of Merton’s neck, bringing him closer. “And I love you.”

* * *

“You know, you’re perfect just the way you are,” Tommy says into Merton’s cheek, hands deeply buried in Merton’s flat hair, trying to coax the familiar spikes back into existence amid all the gel Merton put in his hair that morning to keep it at bay. Tommy unashamedly nuzzles him, smiling softly to himself. He hasn’t lost Merton, for which he’s so grateful for it actually makes breathing a little difficult, although that might also have something to do with how close they are at the moment.

The wolf is sated, Tommy’s sated and they’re still on the cold, hard floor but Tommy can’t find it in himself to complain.

* * *

It’s past midnight, and Tommy starts shivering on his position on the floor, with Merton lying on his chest and playing with his sweaty hair.

Tommy rubs Merton’s naked back, relishing the freedom that he can rub Merton; pretty much wherever he wants. “Hey, you know, we can move this party up to the bed, where it’s warm and comfortable and not as…hard.” He knows the snicker is coming and Merton doesn't disappoint him. Merton has a sense of humor of a thirteen year old, Tommy has found, which is, okay, all kinds of adorable and Tommy’s brain must be running low on oxygen again.

* * *

Tommy wakes up to find a warm pressure on his neck, and he’s confused for a minute before the night before comes crashing back to him. Him and Merton…Tommy blushes hotly. Merton’s plastered to him, naked and warm, Merton’s face pillowed on Tommy’s back. And…apparently drooling on him. If he didn't fall head over heels for Merton, he’d find the drooling gross but, as it is, he can’t help but find it adorable.

“Merton…” he tries rousing his friend, but Merton just mumbles. And really Tommy is comfortable right where he is. Why think about moving for the next hour or so when he doesn’t have to? Deciding to go back to sleep, he turns over, momentarily jostling Merton so his chest now becomes Merton’s pillow, and he envelopes Merton in his arm, buries his nose in Merton’s newly changed hair, falling asleep in seconds.

His whole world is Merton and the psychic was right: he didn’t know what true happiness really was until he told Merton how he felt about him.

* * *

 

**CODA**

The sound of lasers and utter defeat fills the quiet room and Merton laughs while he kicks Tommy’s butt at the video game. Tommy knows he’ll lose if he doesn’t come up with a strategly quickly.

So he goes back to the true and tried method of turning into a hairy beast so that when Merton glances at him and sees the hairy beast next to him, he screams in a girly voice and flips over in his chair.

“Oh my god, you cheated! Again!” Merton says incredulously from his position on the floor.

“I did no such thing.” Tommy feels quite good about it though. It’s kind of unfair that Merton can beat him at a game that he wins at in real life by battling all the evil monsters that come through Pleasantville. “You know I can’t always control when I wolf out.” He hears Merton snort at that and it makes him grin in return. He transforms back to his less hairy self. He has thought about letting Merton win fairly once in a while, just to make him feel good about himself.

…No guarantees though. It's hard losing at something, no matter how bad he is at it.

He goes to turn off the game when he suddenly gets a lap full of black and Merton starts attacking his mouth. He touches Tommy’s cheek, then his neck and then his hands start exploring all over. Merton explores his mouth sweetly, getting comfortable in Tommy’s lap and it seriously makes Tommy reconsider cheating more at these games, if this is the reaction he gets from Merton.

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this story way back in September of 2010 but it was proving to be difficult so I forgot about it for awhile. Then I stumbled upon a picture of Danny Smith with blond hair. It was like the universe was just egging me on to finish it. So blame the universe. (Also, sorry for the obvious title which is obvious; obligatorily 'have to have this story with this title' at least once in my lifetime kind of thing.)
> 
> for those interested, there was also an inspirational [playlist](http://dahlia-moon.dreamwidth.org/254755.html).


End file.
